When looking to gain confidence, it’s critical to focus on courage above and beyond all else. Think of confidence like baking a cake. Courage is the essential ingredient, the flour that binds everything together. Without courage, the cake simply won't rise.
1. There have been many fears and uncertainties recently; where do I start? As you know, I have recently applied to MFA programs for writing. I have written a lot in the past, but now it is something I feel I can do, even through the recent rejections. I am waiting for two more schools to say yes or no. ( I have one acceptance already) No matter what happens, it is a new step into the unknown. The main challenges I face are one, money. I may need another PLUS Loan and give up the SSI money I have recently started getting. The second challenge is, do I have the time to commit and devote to a Zoom-based writing program. The third challenge is whether I am good enough. This is the gremlins talking, I know, but still.
2. Getting into NU and completing the program and doing it with great grades and all was scary and stressful but I did it. The other thing that came to mind was when I started Merchants of Music (M.O.M). I had a vision and a number of people that I was working with. This was a great idea and well, but for Covid, it may have been the best. But in each of these, I was scared, and I was able to keep pushing forward. I saw successes and failures, good times and tough times. I think I became better in the end. Now, sadly, I have to face gremlins.
3. My values shouldn’t be stepped on. I need to try to be honest and open.
4. I am not too old to learn. I have not avoided many things but have not embraced the moments either. I think for my immediate situation, I need to fill out the paperwork, be done with it, let whatever happens happen, and then be at peace.
5. I think my recent writing decisions are things that I am very afraid of in terms of whether others will like them. I recently posted an Andy Warhol statement in my work areas, “Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone decide if it is or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” I like those words, it still does mean I am not afraid but it also means I need to do. Right ?
1. There have been many fears and uncertainties recently; where do I start? As you know, I have recently applied to MFA programs for writing. I have written a lot in the past, but now it is something I feel I can do, even through the recent rejections. I am waiting for two more schools to say yes or no. ( I have one acceptance already) No matter what happens, it is a new step into the unknown. The main challenges I face are one, money. I may need another PLUS Loan and give up the SSI money I have recently started getting. The second challenge is, do I have the time to commit and devote to a Zoom-based writing program. The third challenge is whether I am good enough. This is the gremlins talking, I know, but still.
2. Getting into NU and completing the program and doing it with great grades and all was scary and stressful but I did it. The other thing that came to mind was when I started Merchants of Music (M.O.M). I had a vision and a number of people that I was working with. This was a great idea and well, but for Covid, it may have been the best. But in each of these, I was scared, and I was able to keep pushing forward. I saw successes and failures, good times and tough times. I think I became better in the end. Now, sadly, I have to face gremlins.
3. My values shouldn’t be stepped on. I need to try to be honest and open.
4. I am not too old to learn. I have not avoided many things but have not embraced the moments either. I think for my immediate situation, I need to fill out the paperwork, be done with it, let whatever happens happen, and then be at peace.
5. I think my recent writing decisions are things that I am very afraid of in terms of whether others will like them. I recently posted an Andy Warhol statement in my work areas, “Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone decide if it is or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” I like those words, it still does mean I am not afraid but it also means I need to do. Right ?
Also I can make cakes too!
Next time you bake a cake, I can decorate! That's the part that I love to do the most!!! :) xoxo