Hey friends, just a heads-up that this week’s blog is a transcription of a video, so it might read a bit differently than my usual posts.
When I’m in a challenging time, I withdraw. I call it going into my cave and my besties know it well. We have a short-hand and I can just text those words and they know I’ll emerge at some point and I can feel all their love as they let me keep my distance and sort things out.
Last Wednesday morning I sent them a message that said no words. May go into a cave for a bit. Love you very much.
And then I doubled down on my values of self-care and connection by getting up to exercise, meditate, journal, eat my oatmeal breakfast and coach clients for a full day. I felt so strongly and still do that no one can tell me what my values are. They are uniquely mine and I find comfort in difficult times to go back to them.
Now I’m not naive and I know the hard truth is that my values may be infringed upon or denied or taken away, but they still live on inside of me. And at least for today and every day following I will take steps to live those values.
I have found it to be grounding and comforting over the past week.
I’ve also found Brené Brown to be grounding and comforting. I’ve been waiting for her to show up with words of wisdom after the election and she didn’t disappoint. Over the weekend, she posted about despair and how it’s different from anger or sadness or grief. Despair is claustrophobic with twinges of hopelessness. I really really get that. Even while living out my values I’ve been feeling heaviness, difficulty taking a whole breath.
In the post which I highly recommend you check out - she says the antidote to despair is hope and the pathway to hope is to have a goal, a pathway to achieve that goal and a feeling that you can do this.
Now I know this from coaching people who have experienced a career setback like getting fired or laid off. Sometimes, okay frequently, it’s hard to feel hopeful. So she says micro-dose it. Take baby steps. I think maybe that’s what I was intuitively doing by doubling down on my values. I actually wrote them all down again last Wednesday morning and posted them on my laptop.
I wish I had words of wisdom like Brené does. I don’t. All I can say is if you’re sad, angry, grieving or in despair to get out your notebook and list your values. Then take one small baby step to honor just one of them today. My core values are courage, curiosity, compassion, growth and kindness. I’m encouraging you today and truly every day to double down.
So that’s it for now. Just a little head poke out of my cave to say remember to lean on what grounds you.
A Moment from My Cave