What Did Your Dad Teach You?
A big chunk of what I learned from my dad is in this long forgotten note.
My sister Teresa and I found the note this past Spring when we were going through boxes that she’d kept since our dad died in 2006. The boxes had been in a shed, collecting mildew and stinkbugs and mice poop and and it felt like time to make some tough decisions about what to keep and what to finally let go.
I have no recollection of this note - I’m assuming my sister and I were taking her daughter Nicole on a day trip somewhere and Dad wanted us to be safe and prepared. Maybe we were headed to the Brookfield Zoo or the Field Museum in Chicago or a few towns over to the LaGrange YMCA pool.
The sentiment in the note was classic Gordon McKinnon.
💙 While there was no “dear” or “love,” I could feel how dear we were to him and how much he loved us. The fact he wrote a note despite having undiagnosed dyslexia and other reading and writing challenges speaks volumes. It took him a long time to craft anything written, and he’d pore over a dictionary to check spelling.
💙 Dad didn’t take the car in to get checked before we went on whatever drive we took. He did it himself so he could make sure it was done right and no one had to spend money on something he could do himself.
💙 The little car drawing. A surprise and delight moment. Dad had a mischievous streak and I have great memories of him laughing so hard he’d have tears in his eyes.
Here’s the thing: our values are more visible in actions than words.
If you can pause just enough, you’ll see values in every action that a person takes. A few more examples:
👪 My dad’s love for us showed up in working long hard hours in construction as a heavy machine operator so we could have a home in the suburbs. Those actions taught me about his values of sacrifice for the sake of family.
🤑 There were a few rough years when my parents came close to losing the house. My dad was a union guy and was on strike for over a year during my early childhood. Those actions taught me about his value of putting his money where his mouth was — he was willing to risk our home for his belief in fair pay.
👥 Despite the struggle my father had with reading and writing, he still took on roles of leadership as a Mason, was the head of a social group within his union, and when he moved into a condominium was the President of the Board. Those actions taught me about his value of community building regardless of perceived limitations.
This is me and my Dad when I was about two years old. The couch is covered in plastic. That action was about the value of protecting and caring for things so they last as long as possible. Sorta like him putting oil in the car to make sure it’d run safe for me and my sister and my niece.
So what values did your dad teach you?
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