There’s this pine tree up in Mammoth Lakes that’s basically doing yoga - it’s folded in half. It looks like it had a run-in with a lightning bolt because there’s a 3 foot gash in its trunk. I’m guessing it was about 20 feet high when its upward trajectory was cut short. So a very young tree, only about 10 years old. Most pine trees live to be about 100-200 years old.
What’s so extraordinary about this tree is that there’s a single branch, still attached to the trunk of the tree, that had been forced down to the ground that’s now reaching up to the sky. And it has buds sprouting new branches. It’s honestly a sight to behold, kind of miraculous in its own way.
When I look at that tree, I can't help but see a story of resilience etched right into its trunk. Life threw it a curveball, left a deep wound, but it's pushing through. Nature is an unstoppable force, and this tree? It's a living, breathing testament to a beautiful, unwavering spirit that we all have.
THE BEGINNING
I’m going to call this tree Charlie.
Charlie's story starts as a lone seed, just hanging out in a pine cone, biding its time for the right moment to make a move. You ever feel like that? Going through life's motions first as a kid, doing what you're told, maybe even pushing boundaries as you stretch your wings. And then, bam! You're out there in the world as an adult, finding your place and your belonging.
FINDING A HOME
After Charlie found a place to burrough, its first root broke through its seed casing. I imagine it was the day after a mild storm - the rain fueling Charlie’s growth spurt. Intuitively, Charlie knew which way was up and followed the light, defying gravity.
Now, me? I burrowed in Chicago for four years after college, knowing I would eventually move to Los Angeles. That Chicago time was needed for me to build my confidence so I could break out of my casing and put roots down in Hollywood. And I had a mild storm too that fueled my early career growth spurt. It was when I found myself in meetings as a first time development executive and didn’t understand strategy conversations. So I went back to school and go my MBA.
A GROWTH SPURT
Once Charlie's first root took hold, it was like a green explosion. Pushing through the soil, leaves shooting up with wild abandon. Charlie had the perfect combo of water, sunlight, and air to thrive.
Education’s been by water - formal and informal. I love reading, taking classes, and talking to people. My sunlight historically has been external validation because I’m a people-pleaser and perfectionist. It’s something that I’ve been working on to course correct and am now finding that my sunlight is becoming my own self-reflection and assessment. I access this through journaling and meditation. My air is great food and exercise. I can really notice when I’m not fueling my body properly. And I need hard-core cardio to release stress.
LIGHTING STRIKES, BUT IT’S NOT OVER
Charlie's got a solid base, about four feet in diameter, and roots reaching about six feet deep. That strong foundation is what saved it when lightning hit. In other parts of the forest, there were uprooted trees, but not Charlie. Its foundation also gave it the springboard to grow back up and sprout new branches.
Your foundation consists of six elements which will manifest in different ways for different people.
✔ Your values: these are the things that are most important to you.
✔ Your life purpose: this is your reason for being. It’s not your job or career. Your job and career are a manifestation of your life purpose.
✔ Your talents: these are the things that you are good at, and it’s frequently hard for people to recognize in themselves because they come so naturally.
✔ Your learning style: this is typically a combination of visual, aural, kinesthetic.
✔ Your spiritual beliefs: this is about being connected to something that is greater than you. While it’s not specifically about religion, religion can be a part of your spiritual beliefs.
✔ Your worldview: this is the perspective you hold as you walk through life. Your worldview may be optimistic, cautious, disbelieving, hopeful, etc.
Remember, your foundation is unique to you. The elements might change and evolve, but having clarity about them is key. They work in conjunction with the things that fuel you - your water, sunlight and air.
USING YOUR FOUNDATION TO ACCESS RESILIENCY
With a solid foundation, you can tap into your natural resilience. When Charlie was hit by lightning, it was knocked in half, but it didn’t fall over.
My foundation wasn't strong back when I was fired. I was living other people’s values and didn't even know my life purpose, learning style, or spiritual beliefs.
Over about a ten year period of time, I was able to build a foundation:
✔ I learned how much I valued curiosity, courage, and compassion. I used those values to course correct my career and forgive myself for my mistakes.
✔ I discovered that my life purpose is about helping people across their finish lines … not about making my boss happy.
✔ I thought my talent was making people happy, but learned that’s codependency! I discovered that I have a talent for coaching, teaching, writing, strategy and organization.
✔ When I learned how I learned that opened up a new world to me – because I understood that not everyone learns the way I do. It made me a better partner, coach and teacher.
✔ Self-conscious to admit that it wasn’t till I was fired that I started to consider spiritual beliefs. I now have daily practices to connect me to spirit and that helps me immensely to weather the inevitable storms.
✔ My worldview has shifted from a perspective that everyone is judging me negatively to our world is full of possibility.
Being solid about my foundation does not mean it's set in stone; it means I have clarity for this moment and will review and adapt them as life unfolds.
ASSESS, DON’T JUDGE
Here's one more thing that blocked me from my resiliency: I kept comparing myself to others.
Let's revisit Charlie. Around it, there were these towering, magnificent trees, over 40 feet tall, and there's Charlie, all twisted and mangled. If Charlie had human thoughts, it might've thrown in the towel. How could it possibly grow as tall and strong as these other trees after such a devastating blow?
It was critical for me after I was fired to assess without judgment and comparison. The hard truth is that I wasn’t in competition. My peers had either leap frogged over me or left the business. I had to reconnect to my values and purpose so I could determine next steps. And like Charlie, my trajectory is not straight up. It’s twisty and winding, but it’s reaching for sky.
BOTTOM LINE
Our careers typically have years of effort with growth spurts. Unfortunately, it's not unusual to experience unexpected lightning strikes. Charlie's story reminds us that a strong foundation can weather the storms and help us grow, even when the odds seem stacked against us. So, my friends, take a moment to assess, not judge, your own path. Embrace your unique foundation, and remember, it's never too late to reach for the sky, soak in the sunlight, and breathe in the air of possibility.
JOURNAL PROMPTS
Some final food for thought:
? What's been the water, sunlight, and air in your career journey?
? Ever had a curveball thrown at your career, like lightning for Charlie?
? How did your foundation help you respond to it?
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My blog aims to help people achieve their ambitious goals, their moonshot if you will. 😃 Oftentimes, though, we neglect an essential aspect of pursuing our dreams: the inevitable missteps, obstacles, and failures that come our way. Failing to acknowledge and process these losses properly can lead to imposter syndrome, burnout, low self-esteem, confusion, and even result in completely abandoning our dreams. 😟 That's why I strongly advocate for embracing grief awareness (along with other tools like values identification, knowing your why, sharpening executive function, habit forming, and more.) By doing so, we can effectively navigate challenges, regain motivation, and hit our moonshots. ✌🏾️ If you know someone who could benefit, please share this newsletter or recommend me to them. 🙏
Bending Not Breaking